I sat outside

Trusting in my

Blinded my sight!

At midnight

Limited sight

I turned away then

Soaking up

And all I knew,

Just in time…

The moon light

Not knowing that

Lest I never see

Cold and alone

Inside the sky

My precious moon again.

In the dark, except

Was blue, the

The heat had

For the moon, and

Sun was warm,

Been a lure,

The stars -

The heart

Sure to take

I sat outside.

Was blessed…

Away my sight

Wasn’t like I

To make me

Inside was dark

Tried to hide;

Forget what is right

And warm, and

I was content

And what is

False.

To sit outside.

Precious to me.

Hopeless was

The door had

That cause…

I pulled the

Surely lied. So

Not trusting hope

Night sky

I sat outside.

Trusting the cold,

Around my shoulders

And the partial

As the night

The sky,

Light of the moon,

Grew colder

For all its beauty

I sat outside.

And snuggled

Left me longing

Closer, closer to

For something.

I felt warmth

A cold, cold moon.

The moon wouldn’t

A puff of air

And wouldn’t the

Ride the night sky

From around

Day rescue

Forever.

The door, and

Me soon?

For all its beauty,

Found myself

So I continued

The moon didn’t

wanting more.

To sit outside.

Keep me warm.

“No!” I said,

The night lights

“I cannot trust

But still

In the sky brought

What I feel

The warmth

A false sense of security

Or cannot see, but

From the partly

They seemed so

What I know.

Open door

Close, they seemed

“I know the dark…

Beckoned, with

So far away.

I know the warmth

All it’s lies,

The moon, I

Of the moon.”

Deceit, heat,

Couldn’t touch.

And I stayed…

And false hope

I found myself

While the inside

And everyone knows

Halfway between the door

Invited me in,

Doors close.

And that which now

I sat outside.

Still, it couldn’t hurt

Left me wanting

To take a peek

Something more,

I ignored

Inside, while

Imploring, as

The door

I sat outside.

I sat outside.

Even as I

Wanted more.

I turned

I held my ground

Toward the warm,

In the cold moon light,

And the light

 - Page two...

Still, I felt that

Right outside?

I considered

I should hold onto

Wrapping up tightly

Everything familiar

Trick me, they

In the night sky

Shun the new

Couldn’t, and I

And taking the moon

Shun the lies

Crawled back with

With me to light

Hold tight to

My eyes shut

My way against

All I know, (or

Against the false day,

That false light inside.

Thought I knew).

Back to where

“This is all wrong!”

Thought, too, it’d be

I sit outside, and put

I cried, as I looked

Easy enough to go

My face to my

Fore, back, and from

Through the door

Cupped hands and

Side to side, and

Just to take

Tried to recover

Saw my world,

A short look around.

My sight.

Behind and

I closed my eyes

And yet, I

Safely outside the door.

As the light again

Wasn’t frightened by

I fought desperately

Tried to pry away

What I’d seen inside.

To hold my ground

My sight.  I

It was all just a lie,

To hold my anger

Turned once more to

After all; I knew it

To hold tight

The warmth coming

To be just lies –

with slippery might

From the door,

As again

To all I knew

Crawled unsure,

I sat outside.

To be alright.

In, from where

Again, I cried,

I sat outside.

I swung around

“This isn’t at all

To face the door

What it’s like

I opened my eyes,

Where the light

To sit out there,

Slowly, no surprise -

Still smarted, my

To sit outside!”

It was all the horror

Eyes watered, my

I imagined

Mind turned dark

A single voice rose

It must be!

As I considered the

As sweet as the night

The lies and deceit

Damnation I’d crawled

And bid me, “Welcome.”

The warmth - it

Away from a few

The voice surrounded

Was all there; I was

Minutes ago.

Me just like my

Forced to imagine

I thought to muster

Star studded sky

All this bad

Courage, to go again

And felt warmer

Was good.

To confront that which I

Than the moon and

Where was the

Knew to be a lie.

More sure than the

Comfortless comfort

And I did!

Ground beneath

Of my lone

This time I’d stand

My feet.

Night sky, and

And make a stand

I fought!

The familiar track

Against the lies.

I fought hard and

And twinkle of my

After all, my

I fought valiantly!

Black night blanket?

Life wasn’t so bad

And I felt loved, as

What about

Out where I sat

I stood, just inside.

The silvery warmth,

Watching the moon

The metallic touch

Go by.

A hand, then an

Of the bright, night disk -

Arm around me.

 - Page three...

I was still afraid

Many names it

It wasn’t long

To open my eyes

Was known by…

Until I could see

To see

“Healer,” it said. “Shepherd

That what was still

who held me

Balm, and Light

Outside the door

closer than the moon and

Giver of hearing,

Wasn’t for me.

The stars had ever dared,

Giver of sight.

Though hard it was

To return the touch

“The door, the Gate

And hard it’d be

That hesitant, that

And some would say

To walk away from the

Inquisitive touch of

The poor man’s fate

Night sky.  It was after all

This one, this one who

As well as the Way.

Beautiful, and as real

Maybe cared, the one

“Water, wine, bread of life

To me as a painting

Who invited me

I AM, the Truth, the Life

Or maybe a dream.

To stay inside.

And the light of the world.”

But even the day’s sun

On and on

Couldn’t compare

I didn’t know…

The Door’s names whirled.

With the brilliance of

I hesitated…

At this I panicked

The door before me…

I didn’t know why or what

I shrunk back

Or who.  And I didn’t

My feet failed me, and

Know myself.

Hard I sat, rubbing my

“Who are you?” I asked

Face in disbelief -

Myself, to myself, but

How could a simple door be

Of the stranger

So many things, and

And my eyes were open

I asked out loud.

Things I felt I didn’t need?

And I could see clearer

I felt compelled to

And yet I felt I

Than I’d seen the moon.

Run and hide, but

Wanted the door to

I touched the door again

Felt equally unable as

Once more hold me.

Ran my fingers down

I struggled just outside

And once again I

The panels and along

The comfort of

Was safe inside.

The worn handle.

The stranger’s embrace.

I noticed there was no lock

Without a trace of anger

And no latch, and no key.

And without a trace of hurt

And I wondered what

I saw the door behind me

It all meant for me. 

Smile – such a smile…

This simple door

I couldn’t imagine what

Such a smile is the love of

Of simple design

This door saw in me…

Something greater than

To keep what’s out

Surely I was as plain to

The moon and stars above

And keep what’s in

This door, as this door

And the blanket cold,

With arms and smile

Had been to me.

Unfeeling, outside.

And names endless

But did I have a name

Hadn’t kept me out

as wondrous as

My moon hadn’t tried to

Hadn’t kept me in,

Its many names?

Rescue me.  I felt

But made it easy

Abandoned, and

To choose where

“Christian,” it said;

Yet comforted by

I needed to be.

It seemed to know that

The door before me.

Out or inside.

I needed a name, too -

The door spoke as

Was up to me!

A name like its own.

It morphed into the

 - Page 4...

I stole a glance

The memory of the moon,

It is enough to

Beyond the Door

But…

Hold God’s hand.

And longed to be

The Door outshone all

Outside once more.

Around me, though…

I slipped around,

Though the door

Beyond its grasp

Was no longer near!

The door closed

“What about your promise?”

Without a clasp to

I shouted.  “You said, ‘I’m

Hold it shut, inviting

Never far from you’!”

Me to return, never

“Isn’t my light on you?”

Fully closed.

I heard the door say.

“Christian,” it said to me,

“I AM right here.  See

As I again sat outside.

The Rock beneath you?”

“Christian, look and see

I saw, but more - I knew -

And remember…

The Rock beneath my feet.

“I am never far from you

Or you from me.

Then I was thirsty and

“I’ve been with you

Water was in my mouth;

Every night and

Hungry, and

Every day.  I’ve

There was bread

Watched you watch

On the ground around me.

The evening sky

After all, it had been

While the moon and

A long, long night.

The stars spin by,

I knew this was

And played without you. 

My Truth, and that

I watched, too.  But

I couldn’t live

While you watched

Beyond the door -

Them, I watched you.

Not as I had felt myself

I know your heart

Live inside before.

I know how you despised

What you couldn’t

I turned back and

Understand, until

The Shepherd took

You were able… or ready.

my hand then led me

Until that time, but all along

Back along the way.

I stood near you as you

And was it just as

Sat alone… outside.

Night became the day?

Or light, the Shepherd

Then I did what

And the door the day?

I’d never done before.

I got up from where I sat

So night and moon

And walked away

Were no more…

From the door.

As we walked up the steps

The moon had long since

And back through the door,

Gone down, its day over.

I think then I realized…

The stars tried to outdo

It’s okay to

not understand;